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He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
