youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
