hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
