You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
