Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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