I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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