I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
