i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
