Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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