I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
