I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
