Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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