What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
