Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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