did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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