The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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