Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
