As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Mom said you looked used
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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