I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
