Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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