I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
