His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
