The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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