dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
