I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
