I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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