So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
