I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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