actually, I'm a sock model
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
