Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
