I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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