We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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