So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
