FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
