at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm too high and old for this...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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