Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
