need another drink. this is the easiest way
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
