Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
