If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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