You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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