when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
