at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
