Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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