I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
