and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
