You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
