I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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