doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
