No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
