he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
