remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
